What is the most tasteless, brainless and obscene outdoor show on television?

by Ted Williams Special thanks to Outdoor Life Network and Versus Network and to host Steve Scott of “Outdoor Guide” for at last settling a question that has nagged me for years. What is the most tasteless, brainless and obscene outdoor show on television? God knows, there is a rich assortment to select from. I admit to watching many, albeit with the volume turned off so I can see the fish and animals and avoid the foolish banter. “Outdoor Guide” wins hands down. On October 28, 2006 the show—an “infomercial”—was hawking “Performance Ballistic Alloy” pellets for “Gamo Adult Air Rifles.” When I first tuned in at 8:30 a.m. EST I honestly thought it was an anti-hunting clip sponsored by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals or its ilk. There are repeated shots of “backyard pests,” as Scott later identifies them, exploding, twitching, contorting, bleeding, collapsing and dying as Performance Ballistic Alloy pellets from Gamo Adult Air Rifles tear into them. I immediately turned the volume back on. Whenever Scott knocks off a “backyard pest” he cackles like a hunchback delivering body parts to Frankenstein. The “backyard pests” include: prairie dogs (a keystone species that fuels prairie ecosystems and is in serious trouble), armadillos, squirrels (protected game species), bobcats (protected furbearers), and basking turtles (Yes, TURTLES). Shooting basking turtles is, of course, illegal in virtually all states, but apparently that’s what you do with Gamo Adult Air Rifles. “It’s like being a kid again,” effuses Scott. “Like when you hunted sparrows.” Shooting sparrows (unless they’re “English sparrows,” which aren’t sparrows at all but Old-World finches) is, of course, illegal. But to Scott, who doesn’t bother with such superfluities as species names, a sparrow is apparently a sparrow. Throughout the show Scott periodically addresses a phony classroom of phony students in which buxom girls proclaim: “I think shooting [substitute the critter that just expired] is an abomination.” They have a point, especially when you do it the way Scott does it—with a Gamo Adult Air Rifle, leaving the animal to rot where it fell. – 30 –